I just discovered the Poetry Train by following the trail from TA Chase's blog onto Rhian's and so forth and so on. So, I'm hopping on. I'm also cheating, and moving a post from yesterday to today. :) So, I'm lazy LOL. here it is:
Candy Bar
i lie abandoned
like the candy bar forgotten
at the bottom of the bag
broken and crumbling
leaving pieces of myself behind
for you to brush away
carelessly as you go
i wrote that a few weeks ago after a crappy day, and when i reached into my purse, i found a broken, half-melted Butterfinger i'd bought as a treat to myself, then shoved in my purse and forgotten. it just seemed to sum up how i felt that day. and the poem wrote itself as a result.
vines
another pencil drawing
On My Oath
pencil drawing in negative
About Me
- loopdlu
- I'm just me....a woman with stuff on her mind. Read it, think about it, love it, hate it, forget it.
pointer man
pencil drawing of my own fat lil finger
4 comments:
Oh, that's just wonderfully sad -- I love it! :D
thank you robin. thats exactly what i was going for ;)
oooh lots of poems! lots and lots of poems!!! Every Monday Loop! Be there or i hunt you down!
Excellent poem. It works extremely well to move rhe reader from sympathy with the "broken" spirit to antagonistic feelings for the "breaker" who brushes aside the broken pieces without thought. Creates great tension and character dynamics with just a few words.
*pencilling in Poetry Train for every Monday ad infinitum
yes, ma'am...can't have ya hunting me down now...i promise, i'll get on the Train willingly :)
i LOVE to write poems, as you may have noticed. and i like trying out all sorts of meters and forms. i've got some older ones i want to post on here, as soon as i dig them out. keep reading...and i'm def looking forward to Mondays now!
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